Big Brother 9 Live Feeds, March 3rd, Part One – Same Old, Same Old

Big Brother wakes everyone up around 9am this morning, and they’re all unusually quiet. Joshuah plans out his next three days, and his plans include tanning, making hamburgers, sleeping, saying his goodbyes to Allison, blogging, more sleeping, and kicking Allison’s ass out the door. Sounds like a pretty productive three days to me.

Josh is also really tired of talking game with everyone, and I can’t say I blame him. He feels that it’s a straightforward vote this week, so there’s no need for everyone to talk all game all the time.

BB calls an outdoor lockdown, and there’s still very little going on. A little bit of quiet talking, Allison works out, and everyone else is lying comatose in the sun.

The lockdown is over, and a few people go inside. Joshuah decides to go inside, but changes his mind quickly when he walks in and sees Allison in the kitchen. As he goes back out the door, Allison says he’s a control freak, always wanting to see what she’s doing. She looks at the camera and asks BB to sound the siren. Then she goes to the door to watch what Joshuah is doing, thinking that he’s going to come back in any minute now.

Josh eventually comes back in because he wants to make something to eat. As he goes about making meatballs, Allison confronts him again asking why he hates her. He says he doesn’t hate her, he doesn’t care anymore, and as far as he’s concerned she’s already gone. He just wants to make his meal in peace. Allison keeps pushing though, and it turns into another ridiculous shouting match where they insult each other with the same lines they’ve been using since Wednesday night. Even Joshuah says he’s tired of doing this.

Allison goes to find Matt and asks for reassurance about the vote. He says that she’s golden, because he thinks the vote will be 2-0 to keep her. She wants to know why he won’t tell James that he’s voting for Sheila/Adam, and he says that he doesn’t want everyone to know that he’s voting to keep her because then they’ll all be on his back until Wednesday. Matt adds that James isn’t telling anyone how they’re voting anyway, so it doesn’t matter. Allison thinks they should all just come out and be honest that they’re keeping her this week. She reminds Matt that she single-handedly saved him last week. Of course she doesn’t mention that she also single-handedly put him in jeopardy last week. But whatev.

She goes back inside and trades barbs with Joshuah once again. This is getting old. If they could come up with some creative new insults, that would be one thing. But this is the exact same argument recurring every few hours.

Allison goes to Ryan and asks him once again to stand up for her and protect her from Joshuah. A little light bulb goes off over Ryan’s head, and he asks, “Are you scared of Josh?” Time to backpedal! Allison says no, of course not, she just doesn’t want to put up with his shit all the time. Heh. And she’s positive that he’s going to “start something.” Even though it’s her who usually starts the bickering. Ryan can’t be bothered, and tells her to just ignore him, walk away, or stay away from him all together.

Now Allison heads outside, looking for fresh ears to bombard with her tales of woe. She finds Sheila, and tells her that she has lots of gay friends and has never had any of them treat her this way. Sheila, who gets major props from me, asks her why she would generalize like that. Allison is once again playing defense, saying that’s not what she meant, she just doesn’t understand it.

Sheila says that the reason she and Adam can’t win any competitions is because he gets nervous before them and then they can’t function together as a team. That and the fact that she can’t get a full nights’ sleep because he snores so much.

Natalie and Allison talk about the other hamsters, and Allison says she can’t believe that people would stoop so low as to bring personal issues into the game. I can see this as a montage on the show, with that line followed by all of the personal things Allison has tossed around during her time in the house. Then again, they only have an hour for the show …

Natalie is still thinking that James is planning to attack her or try to break her down. Did no one explain the misunderstanding to her? She tells Allison that however many times James insults her or comes after her, that’s the number of blessings she will receive in return. Oy.

Sheila seems to think that Adam’s surplus of cigarettes is what’s going to keep them in the game. She’s sure that James will vote to keep Adam, because James is out of ciggies.

Allison and Ryan are together in the hammock, and she’s telling him that the siren thing was obviously designed by BB to save them. She thinks that America must love her, and must be heavily involved in the game, so there’s no way that she’ll be evicted this week. Someone give this girl her stipend so she can buy herself a clue. She tries to get Ryan to go to Joshuah and talk to him, sticking up for her in the process, but he has no interest in doing so. He tells her that he’ll jump in if Josh goes after her before a competition or something, but if it’s just personal stuff or things that have nothing to do with him, then she needs to defend herself.

James and Adam are playing pool, and discussing Matt and the vote this week. James says that Matt told Ryan he has his vote this week, and Adam admits that Matt told him the same thing. James is upset because he says that Matt’s waiting for James and Chelsia to tell him who they’re voting for, and he’s just going to jump in and do the same thing. I don’t know why this is a big deal, but apparently it is.

There’s some chatter about how the prize money will be awarded in the end, and whether it’ll be split between couples. James thinks they’ll be in couples until the end, and each person will get $250,000. Sheila isn’t sure. She brings up her book deal, and James says that she shouldn’t talk about it too much because the others will think she doesn’t need the money if she’s writing a book. Ha! I hate to break it to you James, but if your name isn’t Dr. Phil or JK Rowling, you’re probably not going to get rich by writing a book. It’s possible, but unlikely. Getting published is one thing – raking in millions is quite another.

Here’s a drug safety message from Joshuah and James: never do drugs alone. You know, just in case something goes wrong, you’ll have an equally stoned person around to look after you.

Sheila is concerned because someone told her that Allison and Ryan would be the best couple to take to the end of the game, since no one wants Jen to get her hands on any of the prize money. If that’s the case, didn’t any of these geniuses figure out that there’s money to be won for second place too?

Coming up … James has a bee in his bonnet, and its name is Matt.

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Big Brother 9 Live Feeds, March 2nd – Part II, Allison, aka Miss Poop-A-Pants

After Allison seemed to be losing it talking to herself while doing laundry, she’s now inside in the bathroom, finding a willing ear in Adam in discussing the hate of Sheila. She tells Adam she can’t wait to hang out with him on the Jersey shore. The sad thing is, he probably believes this. She promises Adam that despite the fact Sheila flipped out on her, she has nothing against him. Allison hugs him, telling him she’s happy for him if he gets to stay, then harps on him about bringing his laundry in. Good thing he’s on the block with her, otherwise we’d have to watch her have sex with him, and that’s just not something I need.

Adam plays tough guy outside, going up to Sheila and Natalie telling them that he had a talk with Allison and told her not to campaign against him, or she’d see his bad side. I wonder if that would be while they’re frolicking on the Jersey shore together. James and Chelsia are cuddling together outside, and after a discussion of prices of alcohol in Sarasota, they make fun of Natalie and her abortions. Didn’t Chelsia say she had had them as well? What the eff?

Good Grief! Sheila is talking once again about her yeast infection and how Allison was comparing it to an STD. We’ll never get rid of these types of ads on here. She helps Natalie out a little, giving her some advice on landing Matt. She points out he was raised as a single child with a single mom and is more reserved. She figures if Natalie backs off a little and doesn’t come on so strong, he’s more likely to come around. The girl’s right.

It turns out this isn’t Adam’s first reality TV experience. He worked on The Apprentice before, designing challenges, such as the lemonade stand. He claims he was recruited by Robin for BB, and we get flames, of course. When we come back, Matt is trying to strategize a little while Adam busies himself picking his nose and chewing his skin off his hand. And they can’t block the feeds for that? Matt thinks the way to James is through Chelsia, as he knows he’s falling for her. Great plan. They then talk about sequester, and Matt’s worry is that they’ll be put in a house full of fat girls. Okay, Sheila, tell me why this guy has the sensitivity of a block of wood, yet was raised by a single mom.

Allison comes out to let James and Chelsia know she cleaned the bathroom, and Chelsia calls her out on cleaning for votes. I guess it’s better than sex for votes. James then starts to go off on Matt, saying he’s nothing but a roofer from Boston with a lazy eye. And being homeless on a bike is more admirable than roofing? Regardless, Allison is sure that Matt will vote to keep her. He doesn’t care if you clean, Honey, he expects that from women. James and Allison move inside and look at the blocks in the guinea pig cage, as she says the must have something to do with the game. Everything in the house has something to do with the game.

James goes upstairs to the HoH and climbs in bed with Josh and Sharon. Josh tells him he’s worried about Matt, as he heard Matt promise final two to Adam. James is shocked and pitches in that he knows Matt feels like he owes Allison for still being there. Josh is worried this thing will come down to the wire, and Chelsia must be worried about the same thing, as Allison is assuring her that Matt will keep her and Ryan, and Chelsia says she doesn’t want to vote the opposite way and stand out. In other words, she’s letting Allison think she wants to vote for her, but is waiting, but in reality it’s the opposite.

Allison finds Ryan in the backyard and tells him she told Chelsia that Matt is keeping them, but the vibe from Matt is a little scary, so Ryan really needs to go talk to him. She explains about her chat with Adam, saying she feels sorry for him being stuck with Sheila. Allison also assures Ryan that Chelsia wants to keep them, but is worried about Matt’s vote.

Upstairs, everyone continues to rip on Matt, talking about his lazy eye that’s worse in the morning. They want the siren to go off when he’s sleeping, as he can’t function well when he first wakes up. Who can, other than my mother and my son? Josh thinks America is doing some type of voting on the show every week, like last year, and isn’t worried about the siren anymore, as he thinks it will be a comp to win a vaccine against a virus, meaning immunity to final two.

James goes into the DR, and we get a leak from inside, as we hear him say Adam and Sheila were put up as pawns, but the house is turning. He feels the vote will be up to him, but he’s still gunning for Ryan and Allison to leave. That’s a relief. Everyone else gets called the DR after this, despite the fact it’s during dinner.

Natalie busts into the HoH after dinner, and Josh asks her to leave them alone. She can’t, though, as she has information! Allison told her that James and Chelsia are voting whichever way Matt and Natalie are, so she thinks someone needs to tell them how she and Matt are really voting. Josh tells her not to worry about it, but she says Allison told her James and Chelsia are coming to talk to Natalie about the vote. All Josh wants to get out of Natalie is how Matt is voting, yet she keeps going on about the Allison/Chelsia connection, saying it was disturbing that they were kissing. Interestingly, Natalie didn’t have a problem kissing Chelsia herself during the orgy. Josh says not to worry, he only needs the vote to be 1-1 to get rid of Allison, who is downstairs telling James and Chelsia they’re the most mature 21 year old she has ever met.

The HGs get their booze later, and when Natalie nearly doesn’t get any, she starts to lose it. James goes to Matt to give him a hard time about his partner, saying he can only be nice for so long, and at the same time, tells him his vote isn’t so secure anymore. Matt then gives him a lecture back about sensitivity, and Kettle then comes back telling Pot he’s black, and Pot says he would have never come on the show if he knew it was to play as couples.

It seems James is mad over Natalie freaking out about Chelsia’s vote. Natalie is upset because she thinks Chelsia and James are reneging on their deal to get rid of Allison. The men calm down after this, and Matt apologizes, as before he was saying he was going to hit James. He says now he’d never do that. He will make Natalie cry every night if he has to, just to toughen her up. Maybe that’s what the blow jobs were for.

Allison, of course, has to step into the middle of it all, and tells Natalie, who just isn’t as strong without her foil hat, that Chelsia was completely wrong in the whole booze thing. Now she wants Natalie in her fragile emotional state to go up and make a deal for her and Ryan to stay. It has to be said. What a bitch.

Chelsia tells Josh and Sharon she and James are just playing with the others, trying to figure out who Matt and Natalie are voting for. They’re afraid it will go 1-1, and no one will believe them when they say they did vote for Allison and Ryan to leave. Sharon then goes downstairs to talk to Matt, and he tells her he’s got in in for James, now that he knows he’s trying to break down Natalie. He plans to be all over Chelsia, as he knows that’ll get to him. Meanwhile, these two share a kiss. Remember how he didn’t want to kiss anyone in the house to embarrass his other and her friends? Sharon then goes upstairs to go over things with Josh, and gags as she talks about Matt thinking he was cast at the hot guy. But it’s wrong for Allison to whore herself out for votes, right? Just checking.

Natalie tells Sheila that the Bible says the more people put you down, the more it will protect you. If you have faith, you’ll get rid of anger, jealousy, and greed. She knows she’ll be fine, and thinks this is what will do in James and Chelsia.

Matt is still carrying on about what James said about Natalie. For a guy that doesn’t care about her, he has interesting feelings for her. He tells Ryan that after the way James acted when he kissed Chelsia in the pool, the next time they have beer or wine, he’s going to be all over her. Ryan says he’ll start telling James he’ll work with him to get Matt out, but it will be strategic only. The problem is, Dude, you’re not going to be here past Wednesday, most likely.

Sharon comes outside and is asked why she broke up with Jacob. She explains she found out he cheated on her multiple times. Matt’s only concern here is if the girl Jacob cheated with was hot, as if that’s relevant to Sharon’s feelings. She knows that Jacob got a call from BB saying that someone nominated him for the show. Well, it couldn’t have been Sharon. Natalie enters the conversation and talks about getting a promise ring from her ex. Ryan asks what a promise ring is. Is he serious? Even if you’ve never heard of it, you can’t figure out what that means? Sharon talks about the many promise rings she got from Jacob.

The others leave Natalie and Matt, and he shares with her his plan to drive James crazy by hitting on Chelsia. The sweet thing is he asks her permission, as he knows it will upset her. He’s still an ass, but he does have a caring bone in his body somewhere that his single mother must have installed in him. Natalie can’t figure out why James and Chelsia have flipped the way they have, but if he gets on her again, she’s going to drive him crazy with the Jesus stuff. Matt tells her even though they’ll never have a relationship, as they don’t click that way, he’ll always defend her, as he’s not like Ryan who doesn’t defend Allison. It’s sweet … in a small, tiny, remote way.

Later, James tells the other guys about his bike trip around the world. With his stipend he’ll be able to get a laptop and webcam, to blog about his trip as he goes. If he wins first or second place, he’ll be able to get a website. Of the things on his list, that’s the least expensive, so I don’t understand why that’s dependent on the big money. He’s already finished the U.S., saying he’s put in about 7000 miles here. He was driving a girls’ Huffy bike for awhile, which the other guys find hysterical. He gets free drinks in bars, because he discusses them on his blog.

For some reason, the guys talk about Alex again, despite the fact he’s been gone for so long. Come to think of it, it’s only been since Wednesday, but it sure seems longer. Matt brings up again about him owning the DJ company and the huge 9/11 payouts. They talk about Alex being mad about the way things went when he was HoH.

Ryan talks about Jen trying out for BB for the last five or six years, and says last year she made the semifinals of auditions. Matt gave the names of two of his execs, but one he knows of said no way. After the obvious flames, the talk moves to Parker and the way he got in Sheila’s face. They talk about him being on strike, but he was a photographer, so I don’t get why he was involved with the writers’ strike. Jen had told Ryan something about a “black businessman,” and we get flames again.

I was just thinking this has been extremely boring the past few hours, listening to Matt and the other guys prattle on. I thought maybe we needed a little Allison, and like magic she appears in the kitchen with them. Adam starts talking to her about a stain she has on a pair of shorts she wears, and she swears she hasn’t shit her pants, even when she was a kid. She gets all of her shorts out of her drawer to show them and prove it, but hides one pair in her dresser instead of bringing it out then gets it out of hiding when she brings them all back to the dresser. So apparently she is wearing a pair with a stain on them.

The guys want to do Operation Rain, bring all the girls’ clothing upstairs, then dump it over the railing, mixing it all up. How old are they? Talk returns to Allison’s shorts, and then on James daring Baller (Adam) to let him cut his hair. Shortly after, the guys finally go to bed.

I hate to sound like a broken record, but this just isn’t the same as watching the Late Night Crew last season. I’d even prefer to watch Danielle paint Nick’s fingernails right now.

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