Big Brother 9 Live Feeds, March 9th, Part III, Josh, Josh, and More Josh

Everyone seems to finally be settling down a little after the shock of James going up on the block. Natalie has the pickle juice stench off, and Matt has finally topped saying he’s going to mess everyone up and has also stopped telling Josh he treats women badly. Honestly, it’s like Backwards Day around here or something.

Well, I thought they were settling down. Matt and Natalie are hiding people’s things on top of the sauna, most likely Josh’s or Chelsia’s, and James is admitting to Chelsia that he was the one that suggested to Ryan to put her on the block. She asks why, and he explains he was trying to make it seem like he wasn’t that tied to her. It kind of didn’t work, huh?

Josh and Chelsia are comparing notes again, and he says according to Ryan’s own girlfriend, he’s prejudiced. The joke about wearing white sheets around him. James wonders if he’ll have women’s groups hating him from throwing pickle juice on Natalie, and Chelsia tells him, “Hell no; do it again!” As James jumps into the pool with all his clothes on, Josh decides to dye a section of his hair pink in his honor. Josh probably figures correctly that if he, Sharon, or Chelsia win HoH next, Adam and Sheila will try to flip, and Ryan might too.

Josh realizes his Prada sunglasses are missing and tells Natalie he doesn’t care that she took them and hid them, as she couldn’t even spell Prada let alone afford them. Chelsia tells him to calm down, as Natalie can’t break them and stay within the rules; she can only hide them. He’ll get them back eventually. He takes all his special things out of hiding, and Natalie tells him he’ll get his glasses back when she gets her Bible back.

It’s more Josh, as he goes to James, telling him he’ll vote out Sharon, and James replies it can still work for him with a “smooth operation.” Josh figures Sharon will forgive him if she ends up staying, as he’ll say he wanted to show they weren’t aligned. They talk about how she has no one in the house, not realizing her and Matt are playing each other or with each other, whichever, and James think it would be cool to send her out the door for a second time.

More on Josh. He claims he’s only begun to show his full arsenal to Natalie. He knows he can make her crack. He suggests cornering her, both going at her, making her cry and run off to Matt, and then getting Matt to hit him and get thrown out of the game. Those type of plans never work.

Natalie comes downstairs and tells Sheila and Sharon that she can’t believe how low Josh can go. They agree, and talk about how it all won’t be on the live show, but they know the live feeds will see this, and they can’t believe Josh’s mom will have to watch her son acting like this. Natalie mentions her missing Bible, and Sharon tells her she can read hers. Oh, that’s nice. They’re sharing.

Back to Josh as he walks back out to the backyard, and Chelsia tells him he is just like a gay version of Evel Dick. I’m sorry, but that line is offensive to Dick. Josh is waiting for Natalie to call a truce, and he’ll give her her Bible back. He knows she can borrow Sharon’s now, but it’s pointed out she has special parts highlighted in it for her. He jokes about highlighting the whole thing, perhaps in Black Sharpie, then giving it back to her. James says he has one other big trick up his sleeve, other than the pickle juice, and it will be priceless, but we don’t get to find out what it is, as the feeds switch just then.

I wish the feeds hadn’t switched, as I really don’t need to hear about Sharon and Natalie getting their periods, and how they’re going to need supers.

Back outside, as Chelsia thinks what they need to do to get Sheila’s vote is to promise to never talk about her son again. Eeww. I don’t like them using him for a pawn like that.

Upstairs, it’s getting pretty deep in the HoH. Ryan and Matt talk about not having a BFF, except for their girlfriends. Ryan admits to stealing Jen from her boyfriend and says he can do that to any girl he wants. Right there, it just made him ten times less appealing. He opens up about Jen, saying she blacks out when she gets drunk, and has had DUIs, plus doesn’t have plates on her car. Hope the cops are watching.

Natalie joins the guys in the HoH, and talks about not being well-liked when she was kid because she was a tomboy, liked sports, and was poor. She reverts back to talking about Chelsia’s stinky crotch again. After this show, how many guys do you think will be coming up to Chelsia asking her if they can smell her crotch? Matt thinks when they get beer they shouldn’t give any to James and should hide the chess set in the HoH. Natalie thinks they’re all so afraid them and that’s why they’re outside. She doesn’t understand what the big deal is with her abortions, as no one cares about the kid after it comes out. I’m not even going to get into that one.

The guys want Natalie to go talk to Sheila and pull the mom card, asking her how she’d feel if she were Natalie’s mom and had to watch her being treated this way. As she leaves to do just that, the Bros. Minus the Hoes pantomime finger puppets to each other, as that’s the only thing Natalie is to them.

Natalie finds her Bible in the SR, and Matt is telling Ryan he hid James’ clothes. She goes upstairs to tell the guys to give Josh and James their things back, and explains she said a prayer that she and Sheila would find her Bible, and it was then in the first place they looked. She’s happy to know God is working for her. Sigh.

Sheila is still claiming to not know about this plan to put James up on the block, and telling this to Sharon and Josh, he says it doesn’t matter, as they’re the only ones that have won HoH, and they’re pretty good, so they’ll just have to put the others up and vote them out. He does have a point. It may not have been a good plan if the others aren’t so good at winning HoH.

Upstairs, Matt thinks about cutting his hair, then decides he doesn’t need to, since he has no one to impress, apologizing at the same time to Natalie to not care if she’s impressed or not. He and Ryan discuss the name for the alliance, Bros. and Hoes, and while Sheila wants to change it to Bros. and Angels or Bros. and Little Angels (can you see my eye roll here?), she loses out.

Sharon lays on the cursed bed, saying she doesn’t believe in any of that, as she believes in Jesus. And after kissing Chelsia a few weeks ago, Natalie think she should baptize her mouth with anti-bacterial stuff.

You have to give it to Matt. He tries to explain to Ryan that he had his back. Ryan says he knows that, but last week, he didn’t vote for him to stay. James acknowledges this, but says Matt didn’t vote for him either, so he really needs to check the people he’s aligned with.

Sharon shares with Sheila that Josh told her if he and Chelsia are on the block next week they have to get Chelsia out. Sheila wonders what happens if Chelsia wins HoH, and Sharon says it doesn’t matter as first, they should win because they’re that good, and secondly, if Chelsia wins, she’ll put Matt and Natalie up anyway.

Chelsia and James are busy in the hammock feeling sorry for themselves and wishing for the good old days of the competing couples. Everyone else is inside, with those that can eat, eating dinner. After dinner, Matt leaves, and goes to lay down with Sharon, telling her she’s safe this week and that they never had any intention of her leaving. Riiiiight. It somehow has a calming effect on Matt, as he and Josh make up, and Matt even give shim a shirt. Chelsia then comes in and says she doesn’t hate Matt, and gives him a hug. What’s going on here?

The most exciting thing after this is Natalie announcing a need to go tinkle.

James, knowing he needs Sheila’s vote, apologizes to her, not Natalie, for the pickle thing earlier, saying he was just really upset. She says that’s okay, it just freaked her out a little. He plays the martyr bit, saying he’s just going to go home, as if he was to try and stay, he’d have to turn against Chelsia, and he refuses to do that. Sheila points out Chelsia has been kind of mean to people, and James uses that for an opening to see where she stands on things. Sheila tells James if he wants to talk, she’s open to it, and he tells her Adam said he’d vote for him if Sheila did.

James goes in and waits for Chelsia to get out of the bathroom and tells her Sheila is open to voting for him to stay. Chelsia doubts this, though, thinking she’s just playing with him. James tells her no, she’s upset with the others for throwing water on her. Yet, outside Sheila is telling Josh that she’s voting for Sharon, because she hates Chelsia. He promises to never use her kid against her. How f’ed up is that? If you vote our way, we won’t make fun of your kid.

James is telling Chelsia he’s pretty sure he can get Adam’s vote. His thought is to tell him he’s the only one there that can physically take out the other guys. He’ll then tell Sheila he’s the only one that can make Josh and Chelsia behave. Well, it’s better than blackmailing her with her kid. Josh comes in and tells them he can get Sheila’s vote, but he leads them to believe it would be for James, while it’s really for Sharon. They want Chelsia to work on Matt a little. They think they could even swing this 4-2 in James’ favor.

Matt and Adam are passing the time by planning a fight night for next Saturday between them. They’re going to have a training schedule, a press conference, a weigh-in, and everything. On the other side, James and Chelsia are talking sex, and he admits someone stuck something in him about a year ago that he didn’t want in there. I really don’t think we need to hear the rest of that, do we?

It’s back to game talk as Josh continues to play both sides, Sharon and James, and Chelsia has an idea to search through the Bible and find things to use against Natalie. Again, it’s that karma thing …

Ryan and Matt are bored, and Ryan says if it wasn’t for Jen, the only person he’d have sex with here is Julie Chen. I’m sure she’s thrilled. Josh ends up with Sharon again, and after she tells him everything Matt told her when they would lay in bed together, Josh says he wants Matt and Natalie up next week if he wins HoH. She replies she’d rather it be Matt and Ryan, with Natalie as a replacement. Eventually, Josh sees it her way.

Josh goes into the hot tub by himself and instead of praying, this time he talks to himself, complaining about the other HGs. He rants about Chelsia needing a time out, Sheila’s yeast infection, how he’s better looking than Matt, with better eyes, no tattoos, and not a weird accent, about losers that don’t go to college, how Natalie looks like a ferret, and how no one knows what Neiman Marcus is. I do!

Sharon and Sheila come out and join Josh in the hot tub, and Sheila calls him out a little, saying he didn’t go off on Matt. Josh only has cat fights. He defends himself saying Matt ran away, so he didn’t have a chance. If Chelsia had a chance, you had a chance. Chelsia comes out, and the hot tub crew changes by a person or two for quite some time, but nothing very earth-shattering happens, other than Sheila thinking she’ll seduce Matt to help her in the game. She refers to herself as Mrs. Robinson, and says it will be like the Graduate all over again.

Not much happens in the few hours after this before they all go to bed, other than a rehashing of the rest of the day. The three that will be the deciding votes, Josh, Sheila, and Adam, are still playing both sides. Other than that, we do find out that Natalie paid $19.99 for her nightgown at Target.

I have a feeling James is leaving no matter what, but it would make for an interesting game if would get switched around, just to even things up a little.

You can catch listen to Josh’s rants as well, with two weeks of the live feeds free, right here: Watch Big Brother 9 on SuperPass!

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