Big Brother 9 Live Feeds, March 24th, Part Two – And So Ends Another Dull Monday

Sheila and Sharon are still in the kitchen, and Josh is in there with him now. They’re making turkey meatballs and marinating fish. Hopefully these aren’t going to be served together. Sheila is talking about wanting her own cooking show, and having guests come on and make their family recipes.

Joshuah is going on again about this being the new Josh, and not trashing people or going off. We’ll see about that. Somehow I’m guessing that if New Josh goes on the block on Thursday, Old Josh will make a comeback. Sharon comes in and Josh asks her to make garlic bread. She turns to go out and ask Natalie how to make it, but Josh stops her and says that she just needs to butter the bread and put garlic salt on top. Garlic salt? Really? I’ve made garlic bread dozens of times, and that sounds pretty nasty to me.

BB calls for another outdoor lockdown. Josh finishes browning his meatballs (sounds rude, doesn’t it?) and throws them in the spaghetti sauce. Ryan goes to wake James up, and people start filing out into the backyard. It’s the usual scene out there, with people on the lounge chairs gabbing or nodding off, and a pool game going on in the background.

Lockdown is over, and everyone but James and Chelsia are heading inside. James whines that everyone in the house is after him. Boo hoo.

Inside, Ryan is shearing Adam’s hair. It’s really short and actually looks a bit better. James and Chelsia go inside – James joins the hair removal club, while Chelsia makes an attempt to mingle in the kitchen. She says that she wants to be the subject of a roast tomorrow night, since it’s her last night in the house. Oh there’s a good idea. Let’s get the house together and they can throw veiled insults at the crazy girl under the guise of humour. May as well have a mock Festivus too, so we can get right into the airing of grievances.

Adam isn’t sure he likes his new ‘do. James sits down and gets his hair done next – just the sides around the pink mohawk. Then Adam is shaving his gut and his chest, and Ryan is next. Lots of hot shaving action going on up there. Except, you know, not. Ryan is trying to decide whether or not to shave his arms.

Downstairs, Josh, Sharon, Chelsia, Sheila, and the newly-shorn Adam are all sitting down to eat. Natalie is sitting by herself in one of the bedrooms reading the bible and asking god to let her win HoH. If not her, then Sheila. Ryan is busily shaving his arms. James comes down to show off his new hair, which looks a lot like his old hair, but everyone tells him it looks good anyway.

Dinner’s over, and James and Ryan head off to play chess. Sheila goes to see what Natalie is up to, and they get into their usual chatter. Natalie says that the biggest regret she has is voting James back into the game. This keeps her up at night, wondering how things would have been different if James had stayed gone and Alex had come back in. Nat thinks that Chelsia is jealous of her and her relationship with Matt.

Sheila says that she’s a little worried that there are three women left and four men. Natalie says that’s great, because they’ve outlasted all of the other strong women. She names Amanda, Allison, and Chelsia, and says that she always knew she would be one of the last women standing, along with Sheila. I guess Jen and Sharon don’t count.

Josh is in the hot tub, and Chelsia joins him. Adam is out there too, smoking and pacing. Chelsia wonders what she can do to stay in the house this week, and Joshuah says he really doesn’t know. Chelsia laments again that she’s not even getting a pity vote from James. See, she’s going to get evicted and then tell Julie that she did everything she could to stay in the house. When in reality, all she’s really done is go off on people that she needs votes from, and ask others how she can swing the votes. Great strategy there, Chelsia. Well done.

Now she’s saying that her mom is probably going nuts over all of Chelsia’s actions in the house. Only if she gets the feeds, would be my guess. I can’t imagine having a kid on BB and watching them in the house like that though. That’s a recipe for a mental disorder right there.

Ryan comes out and shows off his hairless arms. Chelsia and Josh make a big deal over this, and Josh points out how well you can see Ryan’s muscles now. Looks pretty much the same to me, but what do I know. Ryan’s saying he’s going to have to get used to this. He goes to play pool with Adam, and Chelsia hangs out with the boys for a little while. She goes inside and finds James, who asks her why she isn’t working people for votes. She says she has been. If by “working people for votes” she means “complaining that she doesn’t have the votes,” then she absolutely has been.

James tries to give her a pep talk, saying she should tell people to keep her so she can help them go after James. He’s encouraging her to tell people she’s flipped on him and wants him gone. ‘Cause it worked last week, I guess. He asks if she’s going to go loopy on them all again tonight, and she says maybe. They go outside to the hot tub with Josh, and start talking about sex and bodily fluids and all that fun stuff.

Sheila, Natalie, and Adam are talking about their psychological profiles and how BB knew how they would all be in the house, because they cast for certain types. Natalie wants to know what “preordained” means, because Sharon told her the whole game was preordained. Sheila says that she must mean “predetermined,” because “ordained” means like a minister. Someone call Mensa, they’ve got some new members to sign up.

We’re flipped back to the hot tub, because I guess BB doesn’t want us to know all of their casting secrets. James is saying that Adam needs to go first, then Ryan. He thinks that taking those two out will make Natalie even weaker, and then she won’t be able to win comps. James tells Chelsia again that there’s still time to flip the votes. Joshuah doesn’t comment on this at all, but I’ll bet he goes to tell Sharon that she needs to make sure the votes are in her favour.

Natalie is reading bible verses to Sheila and explaining how they all fit the game. Yawn. Then she says she thinks the siren will go off one more time this week, and it’ll be a double eviction. We can only hope. Sheila says she had a dream that they were all in a boat, and it capsized. The only survivors were her and Natalie. Keep it up Sheila. Natalie will be telling everyone you’re a prophet soon.

I can’t explain why, but BB decides to give the hamsters booze again. James and Adam are playing chess, and some of the others are so bored that they’re watching the chess game. What does that say for me? I’m watching people watch a chess game. Must be time for a fresh pot of coffee.

Chelsia and a few others are trying to get Sheila to dye her hair red. Sheila’s game for it, but goes to the DR to ask them if she can first. She comes back and says no, not until after the live show, so she wants to know if Chelsia will leave the hair dye for her. Chelsia says sure, in exchange for a vote. Sheila laughs and asks if she and her red hair can go to Vegas with Chelsia for a vote. Apparently that’s not going to happen.

Natalie is studying and counting things around the house. A few people go outside, where Josh is complaining about how boring it is in there. Tell me about it Josh. Chelsia’s drinking a beer, and I’m sure everyone’s wondering when tonight’s freak out is going to begin. She goes inside with Josh, leaving Sharon, Adam, and Ryan to sit and wonder what the next HoH comp will be. Sheila and Natalie come out and they’ve both had a couple of drinks, saying that they’re tipsy.

Chelsia comes out again and says that she and James were fighting and he hit her in the head with something. Now she’s going to have a bruise on her temple. Then she goes back in. Apparently James threw a bar of soap at her and meant to hit her body, but she moved and got clocked in the head instead. Joshuah says she should tell someone in the DR, and Chelsia says that James should get a penalty nomination for that. James tells her to do what she needs to do. She’s getting weepy again. Uh oh.

They go into the kitchen, where Adam and Ryan are scrounging for food. Of course they start talking about Natalie, and how they can’t really figure out the timeline of her life. Something isn’t adding up. They think she’s a recovering drug addict, and that something really big went down in her life and that’s when she found god. They talk about her denying the blow jobs, and Ryan mentions that she swallowed every single time. James and Chelsia want to call her out and tell her that the things she’s told them about her life don’t add up. Ugh.

Chelsia is wondering if the NFL knows about the drug use of one of their cheerleaders. Good lord. They figure she must have been doing speed, since she’s not the heroin type. James thinks that’s what she spent all of her money on while she was a stripper, because now she has nothing to show for all the money she made then. Adam says that maybe her boyfriend was a freeloader and used all her cash. James says that if that’s the case, he wants her to tell them that. Why? Why does she have to explain this stuff? They go after her when she tells them personal stuff, and then they call her out when she doesn’t tell them enough?

Adam wants to go get Natalie and ask her where the two missing years of her life are, because it just doesn’t add up. The group splits up, and eventually everyone is outside hanging out by the hot tub. Everyone except Baller, who is having a smoke by the pool table and telling them a very animated story about wrecking a car and getting into a fight on Memorial Day last year.

James, Joshuah, and Sharon decide to go inside and get ready for bed. James says that it’s just hit him that one of them is going to win half a million dollars. That James, he’s a quick one. Chelsia comes in and asks them if they’re really going to bed. Josh says that there’s nothing else to do, but Chelsia wants to talk. Sharon gets going into the story of how she and Jacob split up, and she’s very loud and animated. James and Josh are poking fun of her a little as she talks.

Outside, the remaining Bros and Hos are (you guessed it) plotting the demise of James. They’re pumping themselves up to win HoH, and planning how to make sure James doesn’t get to the end. Natalie wants to wake Joshuah up with pots and pans the night before the comp so he doesn’t get enough sleep. Heh. She’s planning to go ape-shit when she wins, and Adam says he will join her.

Ryan says he’s going to bed, and off he goes. Adam is stressing out that if James wins HoH, Adam will be on the block. Natalie throws out her little fire and brimstone speeches here and there, stuff about good versus evil and how someone who doesn’t believe in god should never win the game. It’s sad that I have to root for these people. They’re trying to figure out how a double eviction week would work. Really, this is one of those things you should read up on before going into the house.

Lots more chatter about competitions, and how they want to go off on Joshuah so he knows what it feels like to be attacked. They think the vote will go 3-2 for some reason, but since they’re all voting for Chelsia it really doesn’t matter. Adam has another smoke and then goes inside to read the bible in his HoH room. Sheila and Natalie continue to chatter as they go inside as well and get ready for bed.

Soon everyone is asleep. And just as I’m figuring they’re all out for the night, James is back up just before 5am and in the kitchen making a snack. He’s dancing around while cooking whatever it is he’s making. He sits and eats, washes his dishes, checks himself out for a while in the mirror, and then goes to the bathroom. Then he goes and stands outside for a minute, and returns inside. I know this isn’t all that interesting, but it’s all I’ve got to work with here.

Now James is rifling through the candy in the kitchen, and then he goes and sets up the chess board. He’s actually playing chess with himself. I wonder who will win? He plays out the entire game, and then sets the board back up. Time for some more candy, a couple more faces in the mirror, and then back to bed. The James at Night Show? Really isn’t worth tuning in for.

Join me in this exciting feed-watching! I’ll even share my coffee with you. Click here for 14 days of the live feeds for free: Watch Big Brother 9 on SuperPass!

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Big Brother 9 Live Feeds, March 24th, Part One – All Talk, No Action

The wakeup call comes at just after 10am today, and the first ones up are Sheila and Joshuah. Josh tells Sheila that he’s decided to be more positive and not spend all of this time ragging on people, because he doesn’t want people to compare him to Chelsia. This is the same guy who flits around and tries to give Chelsia ideas while she’s in the middle of a meltdown, so I’m not sure how this is going to work.

Chelsia is up making her breakfast, and Sheila tells her that she’ll never forget this – the Easter that Chelsia smashed up all of the eggs. Not to mention the marshmallow peeps and chocolate bunnies. Hey, it’s not a holiday until one of the weird relatives gets drunk and does something stupid. Chelsia’s not really all that talkative this morning, go figure.

Sharon and Josh go outside to talk about the Sheila/Matt connection that Joshuah the genius figured out last night. Sharon figures that they can’t be mother and son because Matt was getting blow jobs from Natalie in the same bedroom, and that would be disgusting if his mom was right there. So they figure that Sheila is Matt’s aunt. Need further proof? Matt’s full name is Matthew Michael McDonald, and Sheila’s son’s name is Mick. See? All M’s. They must be related. Sigh.

Now they’re talking about Chelsia and how she’s an ugly drunk. Josh is tired of hearing the same lines from her over and over, and thinks he needs to coach her. So much for the “shiny happy Josh” resolution. He says she needs to stop bringing up the abortions and go after Natalie’s clothes and jewelry instead. ‘Cause that’s so much more entertaining.

Now we’re back on the Matt/Sheila thing. And they’ve decided again that they’re actually mother and son. Matt knows so much about LA, so he must be flying there to visit mom Sheila all the time. And Sheila has talked about going out of state to visit family. Plus, Sheila said that her son has something wrong with his eyes, and Matt has that lazy eye. Sharon brings up Sheila saying something about flirting with Matt or trying to seduce him if she won HoH, and they think it’s disgusting because of the incest factor. Oh dear god people, get a grip.

But no, they keep going. The reason why Sheila can’t win HoH is because there will be pictures of her and Matt in her room, and that would expose her secret. Then they decide to threaten Sheila that they’ll expose it to the rest of the house if she doesn’t do their bidding. Ha! I really want to see that happen. But that plan relies on Joshuah not dishing to everyone else anyway, so it’s not likely.

The next topic of conversation is the fact that Chelsia and James have been having sex in their bed, only a few feet away from Josh and Sharon. They’re both a little skeeved about this.

Ryan comes outside and now they’re planning their day. Lay out in the sun and do nothing seems to be the general consensus. Ryan may or may not have someone cut his hair. Elsewhere in the house, Chelsia and James are sharing a plate of breakfast in bed

Ryan tells Joshuah that it’s time for him to start working out, and that they should do it in the evening when it isn’t so hot outside. Oh great. I can hardly wait to hear Josh complaining about this. They start talking about the Chelsia scene last night, and Sharon says she heard Chelsia say “goody-goody” and thought she was talking about her. Sharon was ready to run out there and give Chelsia a verbal smack-down, until she realized it was still all about Natalie. Darn, I would have liked to have seen that.

Chelsia has started her daily bitch session about how hard it is knowing that she’s leaving but having to wait it out. James tells her she still has time to campaign, but she says it’s impossible. There’s no way to sway the votes. Well probably not, but who’s fault would that be? And you’ve gotta at least try, no? James says that she should tell them that it’s smart to keep her there because then she and James will always be the targets.

They tell each other how much they care for each other, and then Joshuah crashes the love-fest to mention that he can’t wait to see what the tornado from Iowa will do on Tuesday night. I guess he thinks Chelsia is planning some kind of big scene or something for the night before her eviction. Can’t imagine why.

BB calls an outdoor lockdown, so everyone makes their way to the backyard. This means that we get to watch lazy hamsters sitting in the sun. Natalie and Sheila talk briefly about Chelsia killing the eggs and bunnies last night, and Sheila says that she was the one who finally talked Chelsia off the ledge. Interesting take on that. Then she tells Natalie about Joshuah’s theory that she’s Matt’s mom, and how she denied it but also added fuel to his fire. They think this is pretty funny.

Natalie wonders what parts of the meltdowns BB will show on TV. If the editing keeps up like it has been, probably none of it. Sheila says that she knows BB is a classy organization, so she’s not worried. No really, she said “classy.” I’m almost crying I’m laughing so hard. Natalie says that she walked away from Chelsia last night because that’s what Jesus would have done. Then they’re on to talking about what they miss, like music and active brain cells.

The outdoor lockdown is over, and an indoor lockdown is called. Fun. James, Chelsia, and Josh all head back to bed. Sharon goes to make something to eat. Natalie and Sheila go to the bathroom to talk. There’s a plan to scare Josh while he’s sleeping, and James goes under the bed and tries to pull it off, but Josh doesn’t get all that scared. So much for that idea.

Natalie is putting her face on and explaining to Adam the benefits of using products with a high SPF content. Adam may as well be asleep standing up for all he contributes to the conversation.

Sheila and Natalie talk and talk and talk some more. It’s mostly repeats of what we’ve already heard, so I won’t bore you with the details. Then Sheila says that Chelsia said she thinks Natalie is beautiful and talented, but that she needs to get an education so she’s not relying on her looks to get by in life. Natalie says that’s easy for her to say, since Daddy is paying for Chelsia’s education. Sheila says that it also bothers Chelsia that Natalie is so open about her life and her past, and doesn’t think people should be in the game and then air all of their dirty laundry on national television. Well sure, it’s much better to get drunk on four beers and make a complete idiot of yourself every other night.

Sheila mentions that the “fingering” incident never actually happened, but Natalie doesn’t really seem to care much. Now we’re on to game talk, and Natalie thinks that if they get rid of Joshuah, James will have no one and he’ll have to team up with Nat and Sheila. She also thinks this HoH comp will be another endurance thing.

Speaking of the upcoming HoH comp, have you gone to answer the questions in the “America’s Choice” farce at CBS.com? This is going to be another rip-off challenge like the one in season six when Janie got the crown and the prom-queen title. But what I’m trying to figure out is who actually has the advantage in this one. It won’t be Natalie, I don’t think, because her perception of what’s going on around her isn’t all that precise. Ryan and James will probably bomb as well. Joshuah is iffy – he might pull it off, but he’s so opinionated that he might not accommodate the fact that other people don’t see things like he does. That leaves Sharon and Sheila, who actually might be the two that end up doing well. And now that we’re way off track, let’s go back to eavesdropping on the houseguests, shall we?

The lockdown is over, and Sheila, Natalie, and Sharon are all outside. Everyone else appears to be sleeping. Natalie’s bitching about Chelsia saying she needs to go to college. She’s already done three years of college and has one left to go, but she’s happy working at the coffee bar and painting. She wants to open her own gallery one day, but for now things are good. She says it shouldn’t matter as long as she’s happy.

Adam comes outside, but doesn’t get involved in any conversation. He just smokes, wanders around, and ends up in the hammock. The girls are talking about music that they like. Everyone else is still sleeping.

Sheila and Sharon go inside and Sharon is getting food ready for the guinea pigs. Oh no, here it comes … BEEBEES! Ack! Sheila’s doing it too! Must go back to the backyard …

Ah, that’s better. Adam, Natalie, and Ryan are talking about how Natalie has to win HoH this week. They plan on this, and Adam will win PoV and James will walk out the door again. I’m okay with this plan, although it would be nice if they could figure out an alternative in case the comps don’t go their way. Adam’s talking about Matt getting screwed over last week, and how he can’t wait to do the same thing to “Jimmy.” They decide that they can’t share any information with Sharon, because she tells James and Joshuah everything. Well there’s a revelation for ya.

Let’s see if it’s safe to go back into the kitchen … yep, no one’s talking about their fur-riends or squealing. All clear. Sharon and Sheila are whispering about who wants who out of the house, and how safe Sharon is. Sheila says that Joshuah will probably go up soon, but James is a much bigger target. Sheila thinks that she’s sharing a little secret, and tells Sharon that Josh thinks Matt is her son but he really isn’t. Sharon plays along and asks why, and Sheila tells her all the stuff that went down last night. Hee.

Since it appears that most of the hamsters are stirring and waking up from their extended afternoon naps, it looks like a good time to wrap this first part up. It’s been a riveting day so far, so I can hardly wait to see what the evening brings.

You too can watch this exciting action! Click here for 14 days of the live feeds for free: Watch Big Brother 9 on SuperPass!

For more info on Big Brother, check out SirLinksALot: Big Brother 9.

Tags: big brother, big brother live feeds, big brother 9 spoilers, reality tv