Big Brother 9 Live Feeds, April 1st – A Bunch of April Fools

It’s 9am and Josh is in the storage room wearing Sheila’s unitard, the gloves and goggles from the last HoH comp, tiny black undies, and black boots. I was so not prepared for this. He goes and drinks his coffee, checking on the weather outside, for about half an hour before BB issues the “Get your asses out of bed you lazy hamsters” call. He’s grinning the entire time.

We get flames for a while, and when we come back the girls are begging BB to let Josh do one more dance. So, we get flames for another five minutes. I guess Josh was all dressed up to do his morning dance routine for his fellow hamsters. I kind of hope they show this on TV this week, ’cause he looks hilarious. Natalie, Sheila, Ryan, and Sharon are all laughing and telling Josh how great that was.

SuperJosh goes to put on his regular clothes and Sheila tells the others that James was still up at 6am when she got up to use the washroom. They all think that BB isn’t going to let him sleep all day, and he needs to get his schedule back on track or he’s going to tank in the comps. See, I thought they’d be happy about that.

Ryan and Sheila are stoked because this is their last full day on slop. Looks like Josh has gone back to bed, and James of course is still sleeping. Natalie, Sheila, and Sharon are in the downstairs bathroom talking about April Fool’s Day and wondering if BB has anything else in store for them. Sharon tells the other girls that James was talking last night about getting Natalie and Sheila out, and that Josh was agreeing with him. This leads to bashing of James and Chelsia, of course.

Adam comes out and it seems that he believes that Sharon will stick with them. He talks with Sheila and Natalie, all of them wondering why James is so bitter when he still has two friends in the house. Sheila says that he’s happy when he gets his way, but if he feels threatened he turns into an asshole. Then she says if he wins HoH, she doesn’t want to be there any more and will ask him to put her up. Good grief. They wonder if the comp will be physical or mental, and think that they’ll know if BB closes off the backyard tonight for an elaborate setup.

Sheila now wants everyone to throw HoH once James is out, because she wants to be the one to evict him. And then we’re into the same type of conversations they had last week, about putting James on the block and the winning PoV, keeping the nominations the same, and finally getting rid of James. I actually hope this happens just so that we don’t have to listen to this “plan” again next Tuesday.

Josh is back up, and complaining that he didn’t sleep well. Sheila says her bed just isn’t that comfy anymore, ever since the boys broke it. Hee. Josh goes to Natalie and starts campaigning, asking for her vote to break a tie again. He tells her that, if it’s a tie and she evicts him, she won’t have his jury vote no matter who she’s up against. Yeah right. If the final two are Natalie and Sheila, I don’t see Josh throwing Sheila his vote just to spite Natalie.

Natalie tells Josh that she’s getting some really bad vibes from James. Josh says that he and James want to talk with her and Ryan tonight in the HoH room. Then he says that he’ll throw HoH this week and promise to never nominate Natalie if she keeps him in the house. Nat says that he has her vote if it comes down to a tie, but she doesn’t know how the boys are going to be voting. She also mentions that she’s pissed off that James won’t talk to her about any deals before the HoH comp. She says that Sharon told her she heard James saying that he wants Natalie and Adam out because they both nominated him, so she doesn’t know if she can trust him anyway.

Josh goes on, saying that Ryan should be the only person Natalie trusts in the game. He says that he knows Sharon promised to nominate James, but there’s no way that she would actually do it – she’d rather throw HoH and sit in the shadows than make enemies in the house. He adds that James has wanted to work with Natalie for a while, but he understands why she put him up. Like hell he does.

Natalie goes back to the rest of Team Christ and Adam seems to be suspicious that she’s making deals with James and Josh. She says that she listens to what they have to say to her, but her loyalty is with her team, no question. Adam says that James told him that if he votes to keep Josh in the house, James won’t come after him. He has to do what’s best for him. He says he told Josh he’s 50/50 right now.

Ryan goes and tells Sheila that Adam is voting to keep Josh just to rile her up, and Sheila gets royally pissed off. She goes to talk to Natalie, who tells her that if it’s a tie, she’d be safer voting to evict Sharon. Sheila is really not happy now, and gets snippy telling Natalie that’s fine, just protect yourself and do what’s best for you. Ryan eventually tells Natalie that they’re still voting for Josh, he was just trying to get Sheila going.

Now we’re into the personal grooming portion of the day. Ryan’s shaving his arms, which he calls “manscaping,” and then Adam gets to rub Nair all over Ry’s back. Adam doesn’t like the smell (I hear ya buddy), and says it smells like “Grandma’s hair dye.” Hee. As this is going on, Natalie is working on painting a birthday card for Matt on a paper towel. She’s talking about all the things Matt used to say in the house, and how much he’s missed. She plans to put a lipstick kiss on the card as well.

Adam and Sheila have a fake argument for the benefit of Josh. They’re shouting at each other about the vote, Adam saying that he’s going to do what’s best for him and Sheila telling him that he always does what’s best for him. They’re smiling and winking while yelling.

Josh goes to Ryan and starts talking about how much he hates Sheila, and doesn’t understand why she’s doing all of Sharon’s campaigning for her. Then he goes and confronts Sheila, saying basically the same thing. He calls her out on all of the stuff she’s said about him behind his back, and tells her he’s had it, he’s sick of her. He’s planning to follow her around the house until the live show on Wednesday so she doesn’t talk shit about everyone. He asks her to swear on her son that she won’t talk about him any more, and she does. Then he says something about flipping his shit upside her head, and Sheila takes off running to the DR telling him he’s not allowed to threaten people.

When Sheila gets into the DR, Natalie and Ryan both tell Josh that they’ll back him on this one, because it clearly wasn’t an actual physical threat. Adam comes out and they fill him in on what he just missed. Sheila comes out of the DR and goes to lay down on her bed, and Josh comes in and tells her again that she’s always talking shit about them. She apologizes and says she thought he wanted her to protect Sharon. He asks her if she really thinks he wants to just up and leave without a fight, and tells her to get an effing brain.

Josh gets called to the DR, and Sheila comes out asking Natalie if she can sleep upstairs tonight because she’s scared of Josh. She says the DR said it was okay. Natalie says it’s fine. Josh comes out and goes right to Sheila, saying he can’t trust her to keep her mouth shut so he’s going to follow her everywhere. She goes to the kitchen, and so does Josh.

Natalie gets her HoH camera now. Great timing BB – let’s see them all put on happy faces and smile for the camera. Nat has her picture taken with Matt’s on the memory wall. Ugh. Meanwhile, Josh is telling the freshly-woken James all about the incident with Sheila, and how the DR told him not to get too close to her face. I guess Sheila doesn’t get the luxury of the 5-foot restraining order.

Josh is now packing his things. Sharon should be doing hers soon too, I would think. Sheila apologizes to Josh, and they hug as she keeps saying she’s sorry and Josh tells her to forget it, it’s over.

BB calls a lockdown, so outside they all go. Adam and Ryan play basketball while the girls are talking about Josh’s outburst, and then the flour incident. Then they’re getting paranoid that Julie is there and someone’s going home right now, leading up to a double eviction.

The lockdown is uneventfully over, and James, Adam, Sheila, and Sharon start playing cards. Natalie is making another pizza for herself and Adam, and Ryan has gone to read the bible in bed. This situation doesn’t change much for a very long time. Sheila asks BB for two Tylenol PM’s because she wants to be able to sleep in her own bed tonight. I guess she’s still afraid of SuperJosh.

James and Natalie finally have their talk. Natalie is interested in working with James, but she can’t promise that Josh will have the votes to stay, only that she would vote to keep him if there’s a tie. She tells James that Adam would put Josh and James on the block, she knows this for a fact. James knows that Natalie and Ryan are working together, and she says that he’s the only person in the house that she has complete trust in. James doesn’t trust him, of course, but promises not to put him or Natalie on the block if he wins HoH. Remember the last time you tried to include someone in your deals, Nat?

Natalie again says she can’t promise that the vote will be tied, and James says that if it goes 3-1 then he’ll know that Ryan can’t be trusted and will refuse to work with him. At that point, I don’t think Natalie will care much. Natalie wants to keep this alliance completely secret, because if they don’t then they’ll both go on the block together. They promise each other that they’ll use the veto to save the other if it comes to that. Wow. Natalie says that she really wanted to work with James all along, but Chelsia would never have let that happen. She feels that she was forced to join the other side because of that.

Natalie’s good, I’ll give her that. She’ll be safe no matter what happens with the eviction vote, and no matter who wins HoH.

James goes to talk to Josh, and Josh tells him that Sheila is still afraid of him and asked for pills to help her sleep. Apparently she got them too. James tells Josh about the deal, and if it goes sour it’ll be Ryan’s fault.

Speaking of Ryan, he goes outside with Adam and says that he heard Sharon talking to Josh earlier, telling him all the stuff that Team Christ has been discussing lately. As if this is all super-secret information or something. “Hey Josh, Team Christ has to win HoH and then they want to get James on the block, win PoV, keep the nominations the same, and vote him out. Scandalous!” Adam thinks the girls will team up with James and then they’ll be screwed because they don’t “have nine inches.” Hee!

The girls are upstairs colouring Sharon’s hair. Still blonde, but now with less dark rootage. Sheila is saying that she can’t wait until Josh and James are gone so she can finally relax in the house. Sharon thinks that at least Sheila has Adam, but the rest of them don’t have their partners. Sheila laughs at this and says that Adam could care less about her. They ask Natalie what she was talking to James about, and she says it was just the general state of things, and how she thinks the vote will go tomorrow.

Sheila goes to bed, and the boys are playing checkers. Sharon is letting Natalie work on her hair. Lots of complaining about the slop diet, as Ryan and James are eating salsa straight up. James goes to take a shower, so Natalie, Adam, Sharon, and Ryan start counting things and walking around the house memorizing stuff.

Soon everyone is getting ready for bed. Adam and Ryan get up to play a game of pool and then go back to bed, as Natalie has a bubble bath and then listens to her CD for a while. James gets up and ends up staying awake all night again, doing the same stuff he usually does. He goes to bed for good a little after 8am.

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Big Brother 9 Live Feeds, March 31st, Part Two – Arts and Crafts

Natalie and Sharon are upstairs bitching about James. Sharon says he’s bitter about everything, and all he talks about is how he’s alone and has to keep winning to take out the “big dogs.” Nat asks who he thinks the big dogs are, and Sharon says Nat and Adam. Natalie can’t believe that James is always so negative. He’s fine when he’s safe, but when things don’t go the way he wants them to, he’s bitter and angry. Natalie says it’s a game, he should be enjoying himself. Nat thinks he needs god, while Sharon says he thinks he is god. Sheila joins the girls upstairs, and they continue the James-bashing.

James and Josh are moping in the kitchen, while Ryan and Adam are outside working out. Ryan says that they have to get Josh out this week, because Josh and James will always work together and there’s no reason why they should help James in the game. They discuss what Sheila would do if she won HoH, because they’re considering throwing it to her if they have the chance. They decide though that it would be too risky, because they don’t trust her completely to nominate James.

Natalie has fallen asleep upstairs, and Sharon has gone down to make some slop. Adam comes up and he and Sheila discuss the game. Sheila says that they have to stick together and look out for each other, because the numbers are going down and they’re going to be targets now. She thinks Natalie is James’ main target though, because he thinks she’s the only one that he might lose the money to at the end. She explains that there’s no logical reason to keep Josh in the house this week, because all it would do is strengthen James’ game.

Adam says that Sheila would be able to get to Sharon if Sharon wins HoH, and Sheila agrees that she’d be in her ear as much as possible. Adam is disgusted with James, calling him a bullshitter, con artist, liar, manipulator, asshole, and a few other choice words. Then he asks what Sheila thinks about Sharon, and she says that Sharon will abandon ship as soon as Josh leaves. There’s no way she would go against four people in the house in order to try and save one, it just wouldn’t make sense. She asks Adam to be her hero and vote to evict Josh with her. Adam really wants to trust Sharon, and Sheila says she has a woman’s instinct about this, and that can definitely trust her.

They discuss who James would want out of the house most if he won HoH. Sheila seems to think it’s her, and that he’d nominate her and Adam. She thinks that he would keep Natalie because he thinks he could manipulate her and convince her to align with him. She also says that if she doesn’t win HoH this week, then she deserves to go. But of course she knows she’s going to win HoH. Know that. Adam seems to be worried that people think he’s going to flip between sides, but assures Sheila that he’s not going to do that. He’s going to try to win HoH and will be loyal to them.

James and Josh are so bored that they’ve decided to do the dishes. Adam comes downstairs and starts helping them out. Josh quickly gives up and decides to make some candy that he can’t even eat with the chocolate moulds that they got in their Easter basket. Adam goes to the storage room to take the trash bag in there, and comes back out with playing cards, clay, paints, checkers, and a couple of other things. I guess BB was feeling sorry for them. And I’ll say right now that I hope they get rid of the cards before it gets to final two, because several days of watching them play and hearing them shuffle cards a couple of inches from their mics will drive me to drink.

So now we have a card game going, and a couple of people are playing with clay. Josh looks to be painting. Poor Natalie – they finally have art supplies that aren’t going to be taken away after a few hours, and she’s upstairs sound asleep. James and Josh seem to be making clay penises (penii?) while Sheila crafts a clay turtle and bear. Sharon and Ryan are playing cards, and they’re the only ones who are really talking. But everyone seems content to have something to do for a little while. I’m sure they’ll get bored soon, but for now all is good.

Adam and Josh have painted some little figurines, and set them on display in the kitchen along with everyone’s clay creations. Natalie comes down and she’s excited to sculpt something. Josh gets his candy pops out of the freezer and displays them in a glass. It’s like having school-aged kids, with craft projects all over the kitchen.

James, Ryan, and Adam end up playing games. Looks like the checkers set is actually one of those all-in-one things, so they have tic tac toe and a couple of others, as well as dominos. They end up playing poker with the cards while Josh and Sharon go to recline on their bed and do the “woe is me” thing.

After the games, James goes to talk to Joshuah. Josh says he just came out of the DR where they had to talk him down because he was ready to go off on Sheila. He says they thought he was about to stab everyone to death with the plastic butter knife. Hee. This leads to a full-on Sheila bashing session, with Sharon just listening and laughing. Eventually they run out of insults and the three of them appear to be going to sleep.

Team Christ is still in the kitchen playing with clay and talking. Sheila and Ryan are hungry and joke about injuring themselves on purpose so they have to go to the hospital and eat something. It must be bad if they’re craving hospital food. Natalie is called to the DR, and she asks Ryan to watch the clay girl she’s been working on. Of course James is out of bed and comes into the kitchen, and says that he’s going to smash Natalie’s clay figure. Ryan asks him not to because he’s supposed to be keeping an eye on it.

Sheila has decided to make slop burgers. Bleh. Natalie comes out of the DR, and it appears that someone put a clay penis on her figure. They’re all laughing that she’s a tranny. Natalie gets to work making a sparkly bikini for the clay chick, while Ryan and Adam play board games and Sheila and James eat Sheila’s slop creation. Adam and Ryan decide it’s time for bed, so they go to their room and end up talking about Alex and how it would have been fun to have him back in the house.

Natalie is now painting a pinup girl, and James is playing with clay. Sheila exits to get ready for bed. Josh is up now, wandering around looking sad. James and Josh decide to go sit in the sauna, leaving Natalie to her painting.

In the sauna, James is talking about the upcoming HoH comp and how he really wants it to be physical, because Natalie is his only real competition for that kind of challenge and she can’t play this week. There’s some strategy rehash, and then they decide to move out to the hot tub. Once there, they discuss Josh’s chances of staying this week. He thinks it’s going to be a tie vote, and that Natalie will definitely keep him. James really wants to go after Natalie and get her out of the house. They think Adam will lose his shit when he runs out of cigarettes.

Natalie has finished painting and now she’s in the HoH room reading her letter from home again before bed. The boys are inside too, and Josh goes back to bed while James takes a shower. He gets out and gets dressed, then plays chess with himself. Then he’s off to bed for a bit, and back up once again. The boy sleeps all day, and then ends up wandering the house alone every night.

James makes himself some slop, puts it in the oven, and then goes from the memory wall to the sauna and then back to the living room. He plays around with the board games, squishes up some clay, checks on his oven slop a few times, covers his slop creation with honey and eats, plays with some more clay, plays cards, runs laps in the backyard, talks to himself about how winning competitions is now life or death for him, tells those of us who are watching that the experience is not worth it, goes to the DR, plays with more clay, talks about the first chick he ever made out with, wanders back outside, shuffles the cards again, and eventually goes to bed. It’s 7:30 in the morning now, and he’s successfully stayed up all night doing nothing. Good for you James. Good for you.

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Big Brother 9 Live Feeds, March 31st, Part One – Step Away From the Pizza

Joshuah, Sheila, and Sharon are the first ones up this morning. Josh is decked out in a goofy straw hat, and goes outside to see what it’s like out there. Sharon is going into the kitchen, and … BEEBEES! Dang, I don’t know how anyone in the house can stand that, especially before coffee is made.

Sheila and Sharon – mostly Sheila – are talking about Josh and how he’s acting depressed because he knows he’s leaving. Sheila thinks that there will be lots of cheering when Josh walks out the door, especially from all the women’s families since he was so horrible to the girls in the house.

Josh has gone back to his bed, and it looks like everyone else is still sleeping too. So I’m stuck with Sheila and Sharon in the backyard. Here’s the gist of that conversation: James is mean to Sheila, Josh might come after Sheila, Sheila is a 45-year-old single mom, Sheila’s son will be embarrassed to see his mom humiliated on television. Oh, and something about karma.

And now we’re talking about Matt. Again. And Sheila’s crying. Why? Because Matt had more integrity than James could ever have. I’m still not understanding the Matt obsession thing. Sheila still has a bee in her bonnet over James saying that people who can’t win comps shouldn’t get to the end of the game. She says that people voted for Evel Dick over Daniele because of his personality, and they didn’t like that Daniele was so sneaky and never made friends. She says it’s about relationships, not about competitions. She fails to mention that Dick won competitions too, but obviously that’s not important in her little scenario.

Natalie joins them and talks about how her grandmother was a big religious influence on her, and how she used to ask god why she had no friends as a child. She turned to her painting and art because she was alone so often.

The guys are all still sleeping, but BB calls an outdoor lockdown anyway. There’s some disappointment in the kitchen when they all discover that there are no pickles left for the slop eaters. Oh dear, what’s Ryan going to do? Everyone heads outside, and there’s just small talk going on, mostly about strange dreams they’ve been having in the house.

The lockdown is over and James goes back to bed. Sheila talks about “haters” and how everyone in the public eye gets ridiculed. Sharon says that people who are critical of others are envious. I say that you couldn’t pay me enough to be in that house right now, so no, it’s not envy.

Josh goes to the kitchen where Adam has actually been cleaning. He sits at the table looking depressed. We’re taken to more stories from the girls, and then back to the kitchen where Josh is staring at a piece of pizza. Has Operation Cheeseburger become Operation Pizza? He takes the plate of pizza to the table with him and holds his head in his hands. Adam is there with him, and Josh is saying he wants to leave, he feels so alone in the house. He’s hungry, he wants to eat. And now he’s crying, and I mean really crying. And then … BB calls Josh to the DR. Hee!

He doesn’t go though – instead he keeps talking to Adam, saying that he’s worried about his job and misses his family. It’s too much for him, and he just wants to eat. Adam is being really sweet to him, even wiping Josh’s nose for him and telling him that he’s strong and has held it together so well up until now. Josh says he has no one there, all he needs is one single vote and there’s no one there to give it to him. Good grief Josh, you were doing well right up until the asking for votes thing. He says he can’t campaign against Sharon, but … sob. Adam is talking to him gently, telling him that he has friends in the house and can talk to him whenever he wants to. He even says that he’ll consider making the vote 2-2 so Natalie can break the tie.

Adam tells Josh not to worry about his job, and adds that he might have lost his job as well after making the “retard” comment the first week in the house. Wow. Josh looks down at the plate in front of him and says that he loves pizza. Adam looks surprised to see it there – he didn’t even notice it!

Adam convinces Josh to put down the pizza and go outside with him to play pool. Josh asks him not to tell anyone about his breakdown, and Adam agrees. Of course we all, including Josh, know that Adam will tell Ryan and probably Natalie and Sheila as well.

After the pool game, Josh tells Natalie himself about the pizza incident. He says that he asked in the DR what would happen if he ate, and they told him he’d get a penalty vote against him this week. Aw, so much for that plan. Josh says that Adam promised him his vote to make it a tie.

Natalie is pissed off about this, and when Josh leaves she tells Adam that they can’t be making deals with everyone. This coming from the girl who made more deals than anyone else, but whatever. Adam plays dumb, so Natalie plays along saying that she doesn’t care which way the vote goes as long as Ryan and Adam vote together. But she adds that she’d rather see Josh go. She tells Adam all about Josh’s plan to eat and get a free pass next week, but since the penalty was a vote instead, he decided not to do it. Adam keeps saying that he wants it to be a tie so that Natalie will have to do the dirty work, which pisses her off even more.

Sharon comes in the kitchen, and apparently Josh told her about the pizza as well. Good thing he swore Natalie to secrecy, huh? Adam goes to Josh and assures him that the vote will be a tie, and he needs to work on Natalie to secure her vote. Adam leaves and Sharon comes in to talk with Josh and try to cheer him up. They talk about getting to speak to their families when they leave, so at least they’ve got that going for them. Josh wants to rehearse his exit speech about Neil being his partner and their adopted son, and Sharon helps him out with the details.

Josh is really getting into this speech/story thing now, wanting to point his finger at Sheila and say, “Unlike you, I don’t exploit my children to win money in a game.” They think Sheila will be devastated.

Natalie and Sheila are gabbing in the sauna room about how no one but Josh and Chelsia would vote for James to win the money in the end. That and the fact that they both miss Matt’s presence in the house. I’m not sure why – they talk about him enough that it’s like he hasn’t even left.

James comes out to the hot tub where Sharon and Josh are still talking about Josh’s exit this week. Josh tells James about the pizza incident. Sharon says something about how Chelsia is going to attack Natalie when Nat shows up in sequester, and how it’s going to be a free-for-all because BB doesn’t have as many rules for sequester as they do in the house. James is now talking about how he hates people who are cocky and think they have the game in the bag. He tells them that last night Natalie told him that she thinks she would win the game against anyone in the house.

Sheila and Natalie go into the kitchen, and Ryan and Adam are in there. Ryan points out that Sharon has been spending a lot of time with James and Josh out there, probably selling them all out. Sheila says no way, and Natalie says that she’s trying to get information to bring back to Team Christ. Ryan looks at her with his eyes wide and says that there isn’t any information to get. Well I guess that’s true. Adam tells Sheila that she’d better not sell this alliance out for Sharon, and Sheila tells him to shut the hell up. Natalie is getting annoyed with all of the in-fighting and tells them to stop because they all have to keep sticking together.

Now everyone’s in the kitchen making dinner or slop, whichever is available to them. Apparently BB hasn’t brought them more milk or more pickles, so there is general unrest amongst the sloppers tonight. And that’s where we’ll leave off, until part two for the day.

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Tags: big brother, big brother live feeds, big brother 9 spoilers, reality tv